According to GMT + 8, that is if you're in China, Singapore, or most other bits of South East Asia, it's going to be 2011 in just a few hours. But before we usher in the new decade and contemplate on the significance of being a year nearer to 2012, here's a summary of 2010, by the editor:
In case you didn't know, The Columnist is run by a single person, yours truly, who's the editor, journalist, etc. etc., churning out the best stories for your entertainment. But I'm sure you did know. Anyway, it's a really tiring job, running to Britain to cover the Stig's story and stuff. Just kidding. But still, you'd never expect that the draft of this post was written on 8th Nov, at 11:30pm, after watching the 2010 MTV Europe Music Awards on the tele (Eva Longoria's smokin' alright!), and for that, I suppose I do deserve a treat. A Mc-Merc SLR 722 would be just fine, so would a gullwing SLS. We do love gullwings here. Alright, let’s cut the small talk.
2010 was a great year, albeit a busy one — almost frantic, I must say. It was such a hectic year that I can’t really remember what I did for more than half the time. In fact, the only things I was sure I did do was watch a Christmas theatrical performance about some guy with massive eyeliner who lost his front teeth, and a Cantonese bat called BaatMaan; the thing I was sure I didn’t do is going ice fishing in the Arctic with no trousers on. I’m also quite sure I hit a high score on ThrillDrive 3, and that Katy Perry got married to a guy with long hair and speaks funny. Hmmm. Oh yes, OBS was phenomenal too, one of the happiest moments this year, in fact. A good word to describe this year would then be eventful.
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| 2010 in timewave theory, just kidding. |
Now it’s time for our prestigious and coveted end-of-year award ceremony, where we present whatever prizes we deem fit to whatever/whoever which/whom we deem the prize we deem fit fit, beginning with music.
The music scene in 2010, I must say, is of little surprise, being dominated by those who made it big last year. But there are still plenty of hot tracks too choose from. Except the funny thing is, Hollywood singers are getting younger and younger — there's now a 10 yr old girl singing a crazy song (Whip My Hair by Willow Smith)... Anyway, here are the awards.
| Song of the Year: | Club Can’t Handle Me by Flo Rida (This one simply makes you wanna get up and dance!) |
| Best Music Video: | All The Lovers by Kylie Minogue (This is a sizzling must watch!) |
| Best Pop: | Teenage Dream by Katy Perry (Title track of her new smash hit album! Awesome video too!) |
| Best Hip-hop: | We Dance On by N-Dubz ft. Bodyrox ("Imma stand up like a soldier!") |
| Best Love: | Mine by Taylor Swift (Awesome lyrics from Taylor Swift, as usual, and accompanied by great video!) |
| For the Lay-dee!!! | We’ll Be A Dream by Demi Lovato ft. We The Kings (sweet lyrics and melody.) |
| Best Miserable: | Nothing by The Script (They’re always a miserable bunch, and now they’ve taken it to a whole new level!) |
| Best Happy Miserable o.O: | Misery by Maroon 5 (How can misery feel so jolly! Ouch!) |
| Best Crap Song: | Woohoo by Christina Aguilera ft. Nicki Minaj (YOU HAVE GOT TO CHECK OUT THE LYRICS FOR THIS ONE! Anyone want a Woohoo?) |
| Most Over-played: | Love The Way You Lie by Eminem ft. Rihanna (An awesome song made boring by excessive radio airtime… An unscientific study showed that this song is aired somewhere in the world 31 times every 28 seconds.) |
Now, let’s move on to automobiles. Really sad stuff this year, with the death of the beloved Murcielago and its supreme Lambo V12 engine that powered the legendary Miura and the Countach… (See Up and Downs II) And the BMW World at Marina Bay Sands Convention Centre was slightly disappointing as well. Not to mention, the new BMW designs are not entirely pleasing. Too many creases too, almost crumpled, I would say.
| Car of the Year: | Lamborghini LP 570-4 Gallardo Superlaggera (Green is the new orange for Lambo!) |
| Best Cheap and Cheerful: | Alfa Romeo MiTo (You must remember, this is an Alfa…) |
| Best Marginally Affordable: | Volkswagen Sirocco GTI (Essentially a Golf with a crushed nose, less practicality, and a bigger price tag. Just the way we like it) |
| Hottest Hot Hatch: | Ford Focus RS500 (Imagine 350bhp in front-wheel drive. Now imagine the Ford Focus...) |
| Best Luxury: | Bentley Continental GT (The Bentley badge has 10 wings on one side and 11 on the other…) |
| Best Sexy: | Mercedes Benz SLS AMG (You'd wish it was naked...) |
| Best Hardcore Racing Pedigree: | Pagani Zonda R (It’s loud, really LOUD)
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And, a more positive outlook, the new yet-to-be-named replacement for the Lamborghini Murcielago will hit the streets next year, and with already 50 buyers in Singapore getting them at 1.5 million SGD a pop, we’ll hopefully see one cruising along Orchard if we’re observant enough!
Finally (drum roll please), we shall present our most prestigious award of all, T
he Golden Cock (by this we mean a chicken), for the greatest act of blunder or showcase of stupidity for the year. And this year's Cock goes to Qantas, for blowing up more than four planes in just a couple of weeks! Lesson learned: next time you use an animal for your logo, check to see if it has wings.
Alright, that's 2010 for you! It's been a truly wonderful year, and the new decade ahead will be full of new hopes and promises for everyone, and The Dash also hopes for expansion, if we have the time. Have fun folks, goodnight!
Coming soon: Pedal to the Metal — a quick chronological scale of modern technological advancements.
